Getting home from Vietnam

I figured that for the first post I should do something recent and fresh in my mind.  That way it is less hyperbole and more actually what happened.
I just got back from Vietnam where I was part of a medical exchange of sorts called Pacific Partnership.  I went as military acupuncturist to collaborate with acupuncturists doing rehabilitation medicine.
Getting to Vietnam was long, but pretty flawless.  Getting back was a different story.  There were about 12 of us going on the first flight that day on Vietnam Air.  My buddy and I decided to skip the 0300 shuttle and instead get another 45 minutes of sleep and take our own cab.  So, we hop in the cab at 0345 with 524,000 Dong (local currency, roughly 23,000 Dong to the dollar) between us.  We were told that it would cost about 300-350,000 Dong total.  The cab ride was pretty smooth.  The most interesting aspect of the ride was how the driver would use the line divider not has a barrier, but rather a path driving directly over the line and in both lanes at the same time.  There were pot holes, there were times our cab driver seemed lost, there was even the time we thought the car had completely died a mile from the airport.  However, the biggest concern was the meter.  It creeped over the 350,000 Dong mark long before the airport.  When I could see the flight tower we were over 450,000 Dong and when we arrived the bill was 511,000 Dong.  That left us a whooping 13,000 Dong between us (about 57 cents).
We go into the airport terminal and we do not see our airline advertised and we do not see any of the rest of our party (who should have arrived 45 minutes prior).  That prompted him to ask 'did we go to the right airport' which gave me an oh s^%# moment.  We quickly learned that we were simply too early and our airlines would not open for another 40 minutes.
After passing through security we made it to the terminal.  Unfortunately all the flights were delayed and leaving now at the exact same time and multiple flights were being loaded through the same gate.  (this did give me some time to shop and I found a cool crazy bird neck pillow - pic attached) Of course our flight was the last to be loaded and thus we were that much later in taking off.  This posed a big problem as we were already expecting to be rushed at the next airport to make our flight.  We were going to have to get our luggage and recheck it into the international terminal, clear customs and go through security again once we hit Ho Chi Minh city airport.  Once in the air we quickly did the math and realized that we would have at best 30-40 minutes to get everything done in order to catch our next flight.  If we missed that flight to Seoul we were going to miss the last 3 legs of our journey and make our 27 hour trip about 48 hours.  This was definitely a problem.  My buddy and I were sitting right next to one of the flight stewards who thankfully had some understanding of English.  We explained our situation and asked him to please call ahead to the airport to have someone standing by to help get us to next flight and to hopefully stall the next flight.  He went to speak to the head stewardess, came back, smiled and basically told us tough s@#%, but ever so politely.  At this point we were contemplating worst case scenarios and accepted that we would not make our next flight.  When we landed the two of us left the other ten in the back of the plane and snuck off with the first class folks.  To our surprise, there was an airline representative waving at us who then started to literally run down the corridor.  We followed and were passed off from representative to representative as we went to different sections of the airport.  I felt like a baton in a relay race.  We were literally running behind the glass doors and avoiding all the normal airport foot traffic.  Before we knew it we were at baggage claim.  Soon the other 10 in our party found us and we collected our bags.  All of a sudden a familiar face from the embassy shows up and it become clear that she has organized our VIP treatment.  After a couple of thank you's we are quickly ushered away again and start running through the terminal with our luggage in tow.  Imagine 12 individuals (all shapes and sizes) strewn across about 50 yards trying to keep pace and not lose sight of the lady in front with the sign above her head.  Next thing I know we are outside the airport in passenger pick up zigzagging amongst people.  We zip down the road until we hit the abutting international airport.  We are hurried in to 2 check in counters to check in our bags then off to customs followed by security and lastly pushed into the last tram to take us to the tarmac.  Every step of the way we had our own airline representatives directing us.  I breath a sigh of relief realizing that this is going to happen, we are going to make our flight.  But then we are in a traffic jam on the tarmac waiting for planes to cross.  After 5 minutes of sweating this out, our driver decides to take his own circuitous route to our plane which we board with 1 minute to takeoff!
Now we are off to Seoul.   It seems that we will be able to keep to our original timetable.  When we land we have just over 2 hours before our next boarding.  We go down to check into our terminal desk only to find that my luggage cannot be found and another one of us has had all her remaining flights canceled.  I spent the entire 2 hours at this desk trying to rectify both situations, which we did and we were probably the last few people to board the plane.  Good news though, because my new best friend is an airline savant he has arranged, during this time, to sign me up as a Delta member, upgrade my ticket and then transferred some of his frequent flyer miles to my new account to get me into first class.  That is right, this joker (me) was drinking a nice pinot along with his trout dinner and then was able to get completely horizontal with a nice thick blanket and a legit full size pillow to catch some Z's on this 11 hour leg.
So all is fine, right?  Wrong.  We next land in Seattle with 2 hours till the next flight to San Diego.  When we depart we are stuck in a long narrow hallway where we are in a holding pattern to go down to customs.  My buddy, of course, has a global entry card and whizzes right past everyone.  The rest of us are waiting because they have maximum density of people downstairs in customs line.  One of the employees states that he is too hot to which I replied 'there is a solution to that'.  After about 10 minutes we went downstairs and then snaked through the customs process and claimed our luggage.  We are now 10 minutes from boarding.  I get through security only to have my bag set aside.  I had forgot to empty my hydro flask.  Unfortunately they will not allow me to drink it or dump it on that side of security screen.  I have to go back to the other side, empty the bottle, get in line, and go back through security.  Now it is 30 minutes from takeoff.  We have to catch the transfer train to another terminal.  We look at the flight departure screen, find our flight and it has NO GATE listed.  Delta flies out of terminal A and B. We choose A and go.  We look at another screen and still not gate information for us.  I go into the sky lounge and quickly tell them my situation and their response is 'will you be joining us in the lounge today'.  I told them that I had a flight to catch and needed gate info which they provided followed by 'but will you be joining us in the lounge today'?  When we arrive at the gate and all reunite there was disappointment on a couple of their faces as we had been craving the opportunity to sit down and have a nice IPA at Seattle airport.  We instead started to board the plane and to my surprise, my buddy was again able to arrange for me to upgrade my ticket to the last first class seat.  Once seated, the stewardess asked 'would you like something to drink' to which I responded 'why yes, an IPA would be nice'.  Once in hand, I took a selfie and sent to my friends in back so they would know that at least one of us was enjoying that IPA.
I did make it home safely.  From the time we took off in Vietnam to the time we landed in San Diego it took 27 hours.  I never sat in a single chair in any of the the connecting airports I visited that day.  It was a crazy time, but sure makes for a good story!